You can't be in South Dakota trying to help your mother get back on her feet after surgery and in Illinois making sure your son eats breakfast and has a ride home from chess club after school. You have to trust one of them to take care of . . . himself.
We need people. Sometimes it's friends we need and sometimes it is strangers we have not yet met. But we need to ask for help in order to get help.
Once in a while you can do everything right and things still turn out horribly wrong. But the only chance of a turnaround is to keep asking.