Monday, February 4, 2008

A Handy and Helpful Device

I dropped the house keys off with mother at the nursing home in Aberdeen, turned on my GPS navigational device, hit 'HOME' and 'GO', and here is what ‘she’ said: “Take Highway 12 east to the edge of your sanity. Turn right onto I29 South until boredom becomes so thick in the car that you can actually poke it into amusing shapes. Take I90 East so long that you begin to hallucinate about clowns and monkeys. (seriously – it is 332 miles until the next ‘turn’) Turn onto 94 East. Hwa ha ha ha ha. It is only a highway name change, not a real turn! Take I39 South for a long ways and then I88 for a long ways. Don’t bother looking for any scenery because it is all perfectly flat except for a few miles of hills and trees in Wisconsin. Do not speed even though it may seem your sanity is flowing out your front window escaping just ahead of you and you must chase it down or lose it.” I may be paraphrasing but that IS pretty much what she said. She does not predict weather or there would have been dire words about the snow for the last 100 miles that slowed things to a crawl. I am glad to be home and very tired and will now sleep for three days.

3 comments:

Mom Cat said...

Enjoy the sleep;you've earned it. Welocome home.

The Kept Woman said...

Clearly you were too far south to have her say "Look on your left at Exit XXX to see one of the world's largest fiberglass pink elephants"...I'll send you pics, I think they would go nicely in the gallery.

P.S. In case this isn't apparent this is Mom Cat's spawn.

goprairie said...

I did see billboards for the Green Giant and did dangerously gawk off to the right long enough to see it towering unnaturally green over the frozen landscape. Some year I will take the time to stop and photograph every fiberglass tribute along the way.
Perhaps a performance art project: Costume the fiberglass entities in pink tutus prior to the photograph!!!